Following Failure

I’m about to walk at graduation for my masters degree and it feels surreal. But this is so more than an expensive piece of paper that has my name on it. This experience represents every single failure, doubt and insecurity that led me here.

I didn’t realize I was a person with a life plan until my life plan didn’t work out. After that truth bomb exploded I was stuck with no direction, no self esteem and plenty of failure to wallow in. I can look back and remember every tearful moment when I told myself I failed at something once again. I can remember the negative way I talked to myself or avoided talking about myself in conversations. So for a while I stopped dreaming because if I didn’t try then I couldn’t fail.

I also remember the moment when I started to dream again only to be turned down for my dream job that I believed would solve all my problems. I would have never sought out arts organizations in my community to volunteer with. I would have never heard of arts advocacy or arts management. I would have never found this degree course or believed it was something I could achieve.

But more importantly, I would have never learned to empower and believe in myself. I wouldn’t have learned that my worth and identity doesn’t come from talent, knowledge or achievements. It’s inherently and individually within me. I just had to find that spark and ignite it.

Without learning how to climb up my mountain of failure, or what I perceived as failure, I would still be stuck. I would still be in the middle of my wallowing, wondering where I went wrong and how everyone around me seemed to find all the right answers I was so desperately looking for.

If I hadn’t followed my failures I would have never discovered my dreams.

I’m still on this learning curve. I’m still figuring out how to create my own journey to success and fulfillment. I’m still finding courage to allow every failure to guide me forward.

So follow your failures and see where they lead you.

Sarah Lorna