Have you ever looked at a mountain and wondered what’s on the other side? I’ve grown up surrounded by mountain peaks and without them I feel lost. Literally, they’re how I judge my directions and distance.
When I was a little kid on long car ride I would point out a mountain in the distance to ask if that’s where we were going and how much longer it would take to get there. It always seemed like eons. Then the next time I looked toward the mountain that seem forever way I realized it was in our rear view window.
That’s how I feel right now. This is the first week of grad school and I’m headed toward my mountain. Everything has led me to this road whether or not I realized it. For so long I felt I was close to where I wanted to be when in reality I was just skirting the edges, going with the flow, not noticing I was never grounded. My plans and ideas fell apart and then fell to the side. Some where painful to let go of. Others I never noticed. I didn’t know I was headed toward the mountain peaks until they appeared on my horizon.
So now I face my mountain just like I faced my fears. I don’t necessarily want to move mountains; I already know I can do that. I want to move myself. I want to peel away every layer built up over time that I allowed to hold myself back. I want to tear down every false insecurity I ever believed was my truth. I want to look back and see my mountain in my rear view mirror.
I’ve stared at my mountain wondering what’s on the other side for as long as I can remember. And for the first time since I can remember, I’m finally ready.
Sarah Lorna
SARAH LORNA BAILEY 