Redefine & Radiate

I have to redefine how I perceive my life.

I’m practicing how to live from a perspective of love instead of fear. It’s difficult because fear is easily disguised in jealousy, misunderstanding, or hypocrisy. It’s easy to recognize in others and uncomfortable to recognize in yourself.

I’m currently going through a very uncomfortable growth-spert of recognizing how many of my choices are rooted in fear; being a passive aggressive roommate because I need to control my environment to feel safe, judging my sister because I fear I’ll never be fully understood or accepted by her, putting up walls and avoiding social activities because in the moment it’s easier than the pressure of making small talk.

I’ve realized fear-based choices only hurt myself in the long run.

However, love is the only thing that has continuously brought me back from the fog of my fears. Love soothes my insecurities and broadens my understanding of the people and world around me. Love fuels my empathy and turns my focus outward to others. Most importantly I have found love makes me feel whole. Not in a romantic love, but an unconditional acceptance and embrace of the moment I’m currently experiencing.

Love is a choice. I chose to withhold love because I was afraid of being hurt and disappointed. Even though I choose to have a perspective of love, I am still learning. But I do know when the conscious decision is made to radiate love outwards you also allows others to do the same.

Because love build upon love.

Sarah Lorna